Art

Art is not what you see, but what you help others to see.” - Edgar Degas.

A splash of green, a burst of yellow, a hint of brown. The painter is making the emptiness come to life. 
The melodious sound of a viola, the rich tones of an oboe, the brass joins the party. Musicians are creating emotions.
A squeeze of bleach, a squirt of windex, a swipe of a sponge. The Janitor turns a mess into beauty.
Voices of happy children, math lesson taught with victory, the red ink corrects. A teacher awakens the mind. 

We all play a part in creating something from what we’ve been given. It is our choice to make it beautiful. God, the artist, has created us to “bring out the God-colors in the world” (Matt. 5:14). As humans, no matter what we do in life, we carry the image of God. 

I saw an elderly man on his walk this morning, he struggled to get his foot up to the curb trying to bring it closer so he could bend down and tie his shoe. A runner on her morning jaunt paused and asked if she could lend a hand. She was bearing the image of God. 
A woman with hands more than full makes her way to the parking lot fiddling to find her keys. Her daughter is ready for a nap and not being compliant. One of the bags gives out and produce, cans and napkins fall to the unforgiving asphalt. A teenager clearly in a hurry, pauses and rushes over to help pick up the mess. He was bearing the image of God. 

Moments. That is all it takes, is a moment, to express the creative design of God. The challenge is that we are broken. We are cracked. But that’s what God uses best. He uses weak. He uses broken-hearted. He uses us. With Him, we can create art. We can create a masterpiece. We can help others see His beauty, His love.

Seeing, Being

Thoughts swirling through my head,
To do lists, homework, and errands.
Everything about me.

Traveling down my road
Another passed on by. 
I didn’t see them go. 

...

Pushing aside my future plans
Now wanting to be all here. 
Look a fellow traveler in the eye.

Glancing up to look at me
But then just going by.
A smile not received.

Passing yet another,
Smiles with the heart.

A moment, just a moment
Together traveling on. 

Waiting

        I was in a half-awake state when a loud knock came at the door with the doorbell ringing quickly after. As I glanced at the clock reading 7:30, I could feel the urgency of the visitor. Macca went to the door and I could hear form the other room the heart wrenching sounds of someone in grief. The words, “The baby, baby Kenzie, she... dead this morning.” was enough to make me wish this was all just  a nightmare. The sobs from the door soon faded down the stairs and a deafening silence filled the space. 

        Macca had gone with Mrs. Waid to get baby Kenzie and bring her to a home that would teach her of Jesus, care for her, and surround her with arms of love. They named her after Macca. And now... This...

I went to the front room were Macca sat trying to process the words that were said just moments before. All I could do was sit close and ache for her, the caregivers, and staff. 

What can you do when something so devastating happens? When life takes its toll too soon on a precious baby? What can you say to those who have been left with just a memory and no answers?

That morning, the caregivers eyes were filled with questions and sorrow, instead of the usual sparkle. As I went back up to the room, I met the director who had just returned from taking baby Kenzie to the hospital. With tears in her eyes she said just one word as I embraced her. One word, that was all there was left in this heartbroken woman. One word, that summed up so much emotion, way to much emotion for one morning.       “Sad”.      Her eyes said it as well.       Sad. 

Goodbyes are hard, even more so when they are unexpected. I sit on a plane waiting to touch down in a familiar place that I call my temporary home. I think about how 'goodbyes' and waiting seem to go together. I think about how thankful I am that we are given the gift of hope and faith. Hope that we will see them again; the ones we've said goodbye to, when He returns. All we can do is wait. 

         But, is waiting the only thing we are meant to do? We wait for so many things: for test results, an exciting vacation, more time with family, graduations, seeing friends, creating a family, and for the day when God takes us home. But while we wait, we have been given a special job. We have been given the honor of sharing God’s love with those around us. We can share a smile, we can give comfort and hope to the grieving, we can be an encourager and a listener. 

        

          Waiting is hard unless we put our eyes on the present moment God has given us. The moment that we can make better when we let Him work through us. And, when we wait with God, He gives us strength to soar, strength to continue on the path He has purposefully place us on. 

No Restraints

I couldn't sleep last night so I pulled out my Bible hoping I could find something inspirational. Hmmm It sounds silly, because the whole book is pretty inspirational. Anyway, it turns out I came across 1 John 4:17-21.  I read in the message version because I can relate to it so much more. The part that struck me says,

"There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life, - fear of death, fear of judgment - is one not yet fully formed in love." 

Wow! I can completely relate to that! I fear a lot of things. My last blog was about fear. It's scary to think that my fear is keeping me from loving fully. The other part that got me was,

"If [I] won't love the person [I] can see, how can [I] love the God [I] can't see?" 

That's really profound to me. If I can't love the people I am with, how can I fully love God? God says to do both. And Man, that's hard sometimes. I want to love unconditionally, and without restraints.

Then today, I struggled with the question how? God tells me to love everybody. So what happens when I don't know how to love someone? What happens when I don't know what a person needs? How can I know how to love them fully, without restraint? I can love them how I feel like they might need it. But what if that's not how they need love? What if that's not enough?

Hmmm, I guess all of these questions come from fear. I'm afraid of not doing enough. Not being enough. Not showing love enough.

God, help me to love... without restraints... without fear.

Fear

Fear... it gets to me.
The fear of failure. The fear of loosing someone. The fear of rejection.
Sometimes I wish I could just slap myself and say, "Come on Lisa, suck it up!"
The problem with fear is that it keeps me from living life to the fullest. I holds me back. It's like a chain forcing me to stay in one area of my prison cell.
I try and let go of the fear. I try and talk myself out of it. But like a lot of things, I can't do it alone. I need help. It's hard for me to admit I need help. But I'm learning.
I just need to trust that God knows what's going to happen. And He'll help me through anything.
It's fear that keeps life interesting. It's fear that gives the edge to adventure. It's fear that helps me to refocus on the One that has my life in His hands.
Fear... it gets to me.

Hope and Love

It was a still and quiet morning when I packed up my last things and hauled them down the stairs. I had said goodnight to the kids one last time the night before and it was hard. The kids kept asking me, “Why do you have to go?” “Please... Don’t go” “You stay please”. With a pleading looks on their faces I just couldn’t do anything but ache. I wish I could tell them why I have to go and tell them how much I love them. This morning a few of the caregivers and teachers came to send us off. And some of the older kids woke up to the sound of the car starting. I sat with Danny in my lap until it was time to go and then hugged my friends goodbye with tear filled eyes. It was tough to look at all the kids faces. They just had so many questions in their eyes. And I just couldn’t keep the tears back when I saw them. I ruffled the hair of the boys and blew kisses to everyone there. Timothy, a 5 year old boy, called out to me right before we left and said, “Lisa, you Sunday come?” Oh, my heart hurt when I heard those words. I wish he knew how much I would love to come on Sunday. As soon as the car pulled out of the gate, I broke down. I couldn’t hold back the wave of tears. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. 

As I sat on the runway, thoughts just flooded my mind. The joys, pains, crying and laughter all rushed over me. As the plane took off down the runway I just couldn’t keep it down. I felt like a wave had rose up inside of me. A wave of feelings and memories. The wave just had to break through. I began to cry once again as the wheels lifted off of the ground I have called my home for the past 6 months. I blew a kiss out the window and talked to God about the past months. He gave me peace and put a thought in my head. If these kids can love me this much when I’ve only been their for a few short months. How much more does God love me? It’s hard to comprehend. I just hope I showed the kids how huge His love for each of them is. 

Aching Hearts

I just couldn’t keep it in. So, I cried as our van pulled out of the village school. Looking back at the crowd of parents, guardians or family of the new babies we had in our van, I could just see the painful tears coming from their eyes. Words cannot describe how much agony I saw in those faces. And I let my tears fall as well. The five girls stared out the window and wailed as they watched their familiar home slowly faded into the distance. 

The smallest girl is two months. Her mother died just 25 days after her birth and her father, a farmer, just couldn’t take care of her and work as well. We discovered this poor girl has pneumonia. She might have died if we hadn’t come to get her. We brought two girls about one and a half, back with us. The first one was being cared for by her mother. Her father became mentally ill after seeing his dad murdered in front of his eyes. So the mom couldn’t take care of all three of her daughters alone. The other girl that is the same age is the one I got to hold for some of the trip. Her and her sister came from a very poor family that had built their home on the side of the road because they had no property. They had three older sisters who went to live with their grandparents and these two girls came to us. The oldest girl we brought back is probably three and a half. Her dad picked up and left after she was born and then a year or so later her mom did the same thing leaving this girl to live with her grandpa. But he just couldn’t take care of her anymore. And this is how all five of these beautiful girls came to be with us. I’m sure they are overwhelmed with all these changes right now but I know that God brought them to BanglaHope for a reason. It’s hard for me to imagine what a parent must go through giving up their children. It must be an awful experience. These girls will cry a bit in the next few days, and the parents will feel pain as well. I just hope they can feel at peace with probably the hardest decision they had to make. 

This is Kylee.

Poka-Dotted Feet

Success! Another group of kids made it to Hili and back with a new pair of shoes, clothes, and ice cream. We have managed to take about 70 kids to town in groups of 6 to 8. As we head back from the fastest trip yet, I look down into the rice paddies submerged in water. The new rice grass is a beautiful, healthy green and only 7 - 9 inches tall. As it grows through the smooth, mirror-like water it seems that everything around is being reflected. I look past the green sprouts into the water and see the sun surrounded by big billowing clouds ready to close in on the shinning sphere. Its a magical scene. The once dry, barren ground just a few weeks prior is now covered in beautiful images of the sky. All I can hear is the excited chatter of the boys pointing out the new things that catch their eyes and the loud put, put, put of our wagon. It was a successful day in more than just one way. The boys held on tight to their bags with brand new shoes in them. And I held on to my bag with a new pair of shoes as well. This may seem like a minor accomplishment. But, I’m quite excited. You see, here in Bangladesh, women don’t have the same size foot as I do. Just last week we took a trip into Dhaka to spend a few days getting some supplies with the Waids. Mrs. Waid wanted us to have a chance to get a few keep-sakes before we headed home. So, as Mrs. Waid shopped for a pair of shoes for her daughter, I browsed around as well hoping I could find a pair for such a good price. ($2) We went into many stores and in each one, I came out of with no shoes but a new story that just made me laugh. In one place, the seller came up to me holding a big men’s dress shoe. He had this smirk on his face and I could tell he was offering this shoe to me cause my feet appeared way to big for any of the women’s shoes. I just laughed and went on to the next place. I quickly scanned the shoes trying to find one that might be able to match with my wide feet. I found one and asked if they had a big size and the man quickly sent a worker to look in their storage. He came back a few minuets later and pulled out the biggest size they carried. The seller carefully helped me put my foot in the shoe, as they love to do. My foot actually went all the way in, which didn’t happen very often. But, my toes stuck out over the front and my heel didn’t quite stay inside the back edge of the flip flops. He, however, thought differently. With a smile on his face he put his right had on my toes and his left on my heel and pushed towards each other till the shoe looked like a good match for my foot. He said with excitement, “Yes yes! Very good! It fits!!” I had to just laugh and tell him I wouldn’t be needing that pair of shoes. 

So now today, I’m holding a new, Bangladesh pair of flip flops. They fit just perfectly and I only paid about $2 for them. They have nice little poka-dots on them and you might not be able to tell that they are..... men’s flip flops. =)

A Lion in the Tunnel

It starts quiet. Then grows louder and louder as the minuets pass. A slow rumble. Then a loud explosion reverberates through the whole sky. Another burst answers the first and the conversation continues. I’d love to go up on the roof right now. It’s so tempting. But we’re by far the tallest building around and I’m not quite sure if they have a lightning rod. So, I decided to enjoy it at my window. I feel like I have a huge strobe light all around me. It’s constant lightning. When I see the lightning bolts, they seem to linger in the sky for a few seconds. After they burst, the remains look like embers glowing in a fire. The small glowing spots disappear as they fall out of the sky. The thunder soon follows. It sounds like a huge lion roaring in a tunnel. It echos through the sky and I feel it rumbling in my chest. What a fantastic storm. The lightning continues to flash, and then the rain starts to pick up. I hear the wind growing loader and loader as it howls trying to get through my windows. The rain comes with it. All of a sudden rain starts hammering my windows. Some manages to sneak through the cracks. My view becomes blurred as water pours onto the glass. With the rain comes a wonderful fresh smell. The dirt is being washed away and the scent comes sweetly into my room. The rain only lasts for a few minuets but then the wind grows stronger. Screaming at me to let it inside. I LOVE THIS!!!. Our door doesn’t have a latch on it so we have to shut it with a table up against it to keep it from opening. But this wind forces the door open making the table squeak across the floor. I go to shut the door and lean my whole body weight up against the door. And guess what!? The wind still pushes the door open!!! This is incredible. Can I just say I love storms. Well, maybe that’s an understatement! The wind lasts a while. But too soon after it starts, it begins to die down. The lightning goes away and the thunder follows close behind. The rain stops giving the plants a much needed shower, and the wind slinks away into the night. 

What a storm! Just like the rain making the earth fresh and clean, my soul has been renewed and my joy is heaping! Thanks for the epic reminders of your love, God! My heart overflows.

Slop, Splatter, Speckle

Splat! A glob of cold, yellow, and gooey turmeric gets smeared all over my cheek. I’m at, what they call, a turmeric party. It’s the custom here to have one for a couple that is getting married. Let me share how this glob of goop got stuck on my face. The turmeric party is for the families and friends of the bride and groom to give their blessing as they’re leaving their villages. So, typically, they don’t smile. (and even through the wedding they don’t really smile either.) Anyways, they decorated a booth made out of bamboo with bright orange and yellow colors. All the women wear bright orange and yellow saris too. Then, the women start the program by grabbing some big metal water jars and filling them up. But they walk all around with these jugs. When they come back they all gather around and pound a big nut like thing and break it into pieces. Only the girls get to eat this. Apparently if you eat it, you will get married soon. Huh. After that, they start crushing the turmeric and other spices until it becomes a paste which they put on a banana leaf as seen in this picture. 

 Then the bride and groom come in. But, they don’t walk in, they get carried in by a friend or relative. They get seated inside the booth and the party officially begins. A special dance and then a prayer were at the beginning. Then the smearing starts. First the mothers and immediate family members go up to the bride and groom and smear smooshed spices all over. Some people get braver than others as to wear they put the spices. 

Once you have taken a turn at putting spices on them you still have some in your hand so what are you gonna do with it? Well, that’s how people get yellow glop on their cheeks, arms and necks. The ones that want to get involved sneak up on people and smoosh it all over. It’s a lot of fun! If you know me well, you would know that I love to get messy and this would classify. I loved it. =) My face didn’t get covered as much as most people. I blame it on my height. I caught a few people even jumping to get to my cheeks. hehe. It was definitely a fun and memorable evening. 

Now, today was the wedding. They had it much like a US wedding. Mrs. Waid coordinated it and she let the bride wear her wedding dress. It must be super special for her because this is the fourth wedding her dress has been worn in. She is like a mother to so many over here. (They all call the Waids “Mom and Dad”.) 

The wedding was quite short and simple (they only chose the date two weeks ago) so not much time to get super elaborate. It was a nice wedding though. A few hours after it was done, they had the reception. Rice and curry was served and wow, was it tasty. =) 

These are their reception clothes.

Well, that’s how it all happened. There’s still a bit of yellow stains on my finger nails. 

WOAH! We just had an earthquake! It was small don’t worry! But it happened!

Anyways, I love you all and miss ya!