Hope and Love

It was a still and quiet morning when I packed up my last things and hauled them down the stairs. I had said goodnight to the kids one last time the night before and it was hard. The kids kept asking me, “Why do you have to go?” “Please... Don’t go” “You stay please”. With a pleading looks on their faces I just couldn’t do anything but ache. I wish I could tell them why I have to go and tell them how much I love them. This morning a few of the caregivers and teachers came to send us off. And some of the older kids woke up to the sound of the car starting. I sat with Danny in my lap until it was time to go and then hugged my friends goodbye with tear filled eyes. It was tough to look at all the kids faces. They just had so many questions in their eyes. And I just couldn’t keep the tears back when I saw them. I ruffled the hair of the boys and blew kisses to everyone there. Timothy, a 5 year old boy, called out to me right before we left and said, “Lisa, you Sunday come?” Oh, my heart hurt when I heard those words. I wish he knew how much I would love to come on Sunday. As soon as the car pulled out of the gate, I broke down. I couldn’t hold back the wave of tears. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. 

As I sat on the runway, thoughts just flooded my mind. The joys, pains, crying and laughter all rushed over me. As the plane took off down the runway I just couldn’t keep it down. I felt like a wave had rose up inside of me. A wave of feelings and memories. The wave just had to break through. I began to cry once again as the wheels lifted off of the ground I have called my home for the past 6 months. I blew a kiss out the window and talked to God about the past months. He gave me peace and put a thought in my head. If these kids can love me this much when I’ve only been their for a few short months. How much more does God love me? It’s hard to comprehend. I just hope I showed the kids how huge His love for each of them is.